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A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip. On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says: “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works until they run out of gas again. The second bee steps up and says: “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works, until they run out of gas for the third time. This time the squirrel chimes in and says: “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank....

After she woke up, a woman told her husband: “I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said with a smile. The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn’t wait for her husband to return home. That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled: “The Meaning of Dreams“.

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful Lady. “I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75, 000 asking price,” said the man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model,” “Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman. Just then the young...

A retired woman feels devastated and lonely after losing her husband to cancer. She spent all her savings on his treatment, only to discover that a stranger deposited $100,000 in her account a few weeks later. “I feel so lonely without you, darling. You have no idea how I spend my days alone in the house. Every corner reminds me of you,” Mrs. Johnson said while sitting in front of her late husband’s grave. She slid her fingers on his tombstone, tracing the letters of his name engraved on it. The 65-year-old lady lost her husband to cancer after months...

Back then, personal communication was limited to phone calls and letters. The long-distance calls were expensive. Thus, people often wrote letters to their loved ones to stay in touch. However, it took weeks or even months to receive a response. If you needed information or wanted to learn something new, you had to visit a library or bookstore or rely on your outdated encyclopedias. Google and Wikipedia weren’t around, so obtaining the knowledge required physical effort. You had to search through books and hope they had the information you needed. Music lovers would build their collections by buying records, eight-track...

An old lady was stopped to pull into a parking space, when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said: “I was going to park there!” The man was a real smart alec and he said: “That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.” “Well, this really upset the lady, even more. So she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and...

A middle-aged man was tired of his job in the city and wanted a place where he could relax. So he decided to go to the seaside and buy a house. He found the perfect house and was about to buy it when his next-door neighbor to show up: a very fit, athletic 85-year-old man, with a full head of beautiful silver hair. “Hey old-timer, it seems this place has done you good! You look very fit and in shape.” Says the man “You wouldn’t believe the wonders of this place when I first set foot here I couldn’t even...

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said: “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her: “For withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM”. The old lady wanted to know why? The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her: “These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”. The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said: “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished...

Josh was a struggling single father to his paraplegic daughter, Lisa. After a random act of kindness, he loses the opportunity to get his daughter cured and begins to doubt his decision. He later learns that a good deed truly is never lost. “One… Two… Three!” Josh counted down as he lifted his 10-year-old paraplegic daughter, Lisa, off her wheelchair and carefully placed her on the bed. “Gosh, Dad! You’re so dramatic. I still don’t know why you always do the countdown. I don’t even weigh that much,” Lisa said with a chuckle. “What can I say? It’s sort of...

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.” “Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.” A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computadora“),...