Top Stories

Three elderly women are talking about their troubles. “Sixty is the worst age to be,” said Ruth, the 60-year-old, “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.” “Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year-old, Maxine. “When you’re 70, you don’t have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens.” “Actually,” said Gilda, the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.” “Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked Ruth. “No, I pee every morning at 6 a.m. I pee like a racehorse; no...

The 92-year-old petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably fixed and makeup perfectly applied even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the Nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I...

A kind-hearted ten-year-old boy decides to raise money for his elderly neighbor’s surgery by washing cars. He is stunned when someone decides to reward him. When Max Weaver was five years old, his father died and his life fell apart. Two years later, his mom couldn’t keep up with the mortgage payments, so they had to leave their home. Max’s mom decided they would move from California to Arizona and live with his grandmother, Moira. That meant that Max didn’t just lose his dad; he lost his friends and every connection to what had been a happy, carefree life. It...

‘The Carol Burnett Show’ Season 8, Episode 14 featured guest comedian Joan Rivers and a performance of songs from ‘Brooklyn the Musical.’ It starts with Carol and Vicki Lawrence on screen in white, yellow, and black plaid sweater vests and yellow berets. They begin to sing the song about Brooklyn, and they have background dancers come in to perform fantastic visual effects. The dancers are dressed similarly to Carol and Vicki. They whirl and jump over each other while accompanying the duo on the background vocals. Carol and Vicki sing about how all famous people were born in Brooklyn. They...

A bunch of boys decide to go cow-tipping. They go up to the fence and they are all standing there. They all point out the closest cow and have one of the boys go tip it over. The cow falls over and they all laugh. They find another cow and another kid goes over, tips it, and they laugh. One of the boys sees a fence a little ways away with a few massive bulls in it. They all dare one of the kids to tip the bull. He sneaks up next to the bull and tries to push the...

An old man accidentally crashed his car into a very expensive automobile. The owner of the expensive automobile jumps out and confronts the old man and says: “Give me $10,000 cash or I will beat you to a pulp!” The old man replies: “Woah, wait for a buddy, I don’t have that much money but let me call my son, he trains dolphins.” The old man dials his son and as he is about to speak, the owner of the expensive car yanks the phone out of his hand and says: “So you train dolphins, well your old man just...

A news reporter arrived at the home of the world’s oldest man. He had just turned 115 years old. The reporter asked him: “So, what would you say is the secret to your long life?”. The man replied: “Well, I’d say that it has to do with my nature. I never argue with others, which I think has prevented a lot of stress.” The reporter was baffled by this answer, and asked: “Well, surely that can’t be the only reason you’ve lived this long. Don’t you think it has more to do with your diet or exercise regime?”. The wise...

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand-new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. “Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!” “Bobby Sue gave it to me,” Bubba replied. “She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?” “Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in a 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She...