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One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny’s dad thinks: “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.” He calls the teacher and says: “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.” The teacher says, “Okay,” because she can handle it. The next day, Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.” She says, “Yes, I know who you are.” Johnny smiles and says: “I...

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked: “How long before I can get a haircut?”. The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said: “About 2 hours.” The guy left. A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked: “How long before I can get a haircut?”. The barber looked around at the shop and said: “About 3 hours.” The guy left. A week later the same elderly guy stuck his head in the shop and asked: “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around...

Jake is a delivery man with a mission to earn his boss’s approval to date the man’s daughter. When he gets an opportunity to prove himself, Jake doesn’t realize his very life will be placed in peril. Jake headed toward his third stop for the day. He was determined to prove to his boss, Osmond, that he was dependable and efficient at delivering packages. It was the only way he could prove himself worthy to date Margo, his boss’s daughter. “I’m making good time,” he said as he stopped at the curb. “Now, I just need to keep this up.”...

A doctor goes out and buys the fastest and flashiest car he can find, a brand new Ferrari 488, costing him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about 80 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?” The doctor grins and replies, “A brand new Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!” “That’s a lot of money,” says the old man. “Why does it cost...

After Bridget’s dreams of motherhood come crashing down around her, she loses herself to depression. Just when she thinks she has nothing left to live for, she becomes a hero to a desperate child. “The results came back today.” Bridget inhaled deeply, willing herself to be strong. “I can’t have children, Rob.” Rob, Bridget’s husband, frowned and leaned back in his chair. Bridget waited for him to comfort her, cry, or voice his disappointment, but he just shook his head. “Now we know why you weren’t falling pregnant, I guess.” Rob rose and headed for the kitchen. “Where are you...

A 50-year-old lady, who suddenly started learning how to swim instead of her usual routine work of going to a Church. Everyone was curious and asked her: “Why the change in your interest in swimming nowadays?” The lady, with a look of helplessness, replied: Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel each other She ( Daughter-in-law) always asks my son: “If your mom and I fall in the water, whom will you save first?”. And because I do not want to put my son in a difficult position, so I am learning how to swim! A few days later husband and...

A mother is walking with her five-year-old son through the zoo when they reach the elephant cage. The boy looks with amazement at the large beast and asks his mom, “What’s that long thing hanging down from the elephant?” His mother replies “That’s his trunk”. The little boy goes, “I know that, the thing to the other side of the trunk.” The mom replies “Oh, that’s his tail”. The boy goes, “I know that! No, what’s that big thing hanging down in between the trunk and tail.” The mother, wanting to avoid this subject altogether, just says “Oh, that’s nothing”...

Angela was a top student whose parents put academics above everything else. But after her father found a worrying tape in her room, her family was finally introduced to a different side of her. Angela was a straight-A high school student. She came from a long line of highly intelligent professors and scientists, so there was always pressure on her to carry on the family mantle. She worked tirelessly to achieve good grades so as not to spoil the reputation of her family lineage. She excelled in her academics and attended several Olympiads. Angela was excelling, but her heart was...

This anonymous man came up with a list of “21 golden” rules that women should always remember when it comes to dealing with men. Perhaps some women will heed this man’s advice while others will probably want to wring his neck. Here are his rules: 1. Men are not mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat, you’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. You don’t hear us complaining when you leave it down. 3. Crying is blackmail. 4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!...