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Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle’s bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, “These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could make them with no salt?” Every day afterwards the pretzel was salt-free. After a while, the teacher felt she was making too much extra work for Little Johnny’s uncle to make them without salt, especially for her. “Little Johnny, I hope your uncle is not going to have a great time preparing the pretzel without salt?” “Oh no,” replied Little...

Jonathan Winters was the type of comedian who always surprised his audiences with his statements. They were sometimes what was least expected. His appearance on Johnny Carson was a series of skits in which he played different characters. For each of these, he switched hats to make the characters come to life. He was a farmer who forgot where his farm was located because he got stuck by lightning through an airplane window. Winters claimed that he only spent an hour in college. That didn’t matter to him, though because he graduated from mining school at the age of 50....

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, “Well. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!” The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a...

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young,...

A tragic loss leaves Eliza imprisoned by grief and fear until a teenage girl befriends her. However, Eliza doesn’t realize the girl is hiding a life-changing secret about who she is. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow morning?” Robert asked. Eliza gaped at her husband. “No, it can’t. Robert, we must have milk for cereal and coffee tomorrow morning. You know I bake on Tuesdays, and you know that means you need to get milk on your way home.” Robert sighed. He was tired from a long day at work and had been looking forward to relaxing at home. One look...

One day a teacher talking about marriage in his class, she asks his students… Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Edward? Edward: I would want a wife like a moon Teacher: Wow, what a good choice… Do you want her to be cool and calm like the moon? Edward: So you want her to be round and white… Teacher: Oh, so you want her to be fair and beautiful like the moon? Edward: No, no.. I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning..!!! Men will always be men.. 😂😂 Do you like this hilarious...

After becoming friends with a new girl in his class, a boy walked her home, hoping his efforts would impress her. Little did he know that a shocking sight awaited him at the girl’s house. Like most teenagers, Rob wanted to spend time with his family, but his father’s frequent business trips never allowed the boy to enjoy family dinners with his parents at the dinner table. “I work hard for you and your Mom, Rob,” his father, Frank, often told him. “These trips help me expand my business and ultimately generate more money. You want your Dad to be...

Former couple Demi Moore and Bruce Willis were married for 13 years before they divorced in 2000. However, what started as a painful separation, turned into something special. The actress discussed the pair’s divorce in her memoir, “Inside Out,” and shared the most unconventional statement, saying she was glad they ended their marriage. Actors Bruce Willis and his wife Demi Moore during the opening of Planet Hollywood on March 25, 1995 in San Diego, California ┃ Source: Getty Images “It’s a funny thing to say, but I’m very proud of our divorce,” Moore penned in her book. She added her...

A man was sent a letter by the Department of Environmental Quality regarding a pond on land that he owned. The letter he sent back in response is one of the funniest things youll ever read. It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to...