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A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat right in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, and species. The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: “Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.” Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” whispers the man, “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs, “I am.” The man replies, “Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day until finally, the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them,...

The Infinite Loop is a computer programming concept, describing a situation of cause and effect that continues forever, one action causing another action that causes the first action etc. These loops never happen in real life, unless a company CEO tells his secretary: “Next week we’re going to a convention abroad and spend some quality time together, please make all the required arrangements.” The secretary calls her husband: “Next week the boss is taking me abroad for a week on business, please take care of yourself during this time.” The husband calls his lover: “My wife is going abroad for...

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed a man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the man’s smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When she moved for the fourth time, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he called the police and had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man, who was about 20 years old, what he had to say for himself. The man replied, “Well your...

Jason Bateman, a gifted actor who has captured audiences with his magnetic charm and exceptional talent, appeared on Carson’s show for an interview on June 1st, 1989. Carson warmly introduced Bateman, praising his outstanding performance in the comedy series “The Hogan Family,” which aired on NBC. As soon as Bateman joined Carson on stage, their lively conversation became the highlight of the interview. The talented actor revealed that he has been teased by the backstage crew for his hair color, as he had once dyed it black to play the part of an Italian kid. Bateman also shares amusing anecdotes...

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted by a child’s whispered, “Hello.” “Is your Daddy home?” he asked. “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” The child whispered, “No. Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?” “Yes.” “May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, “No.” Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anyone else there?” “Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.” Wondering what a cop would be...

An old lady was on the checkout at the local supermarket when a young female cashier approached her. The cashier looked at her arrogantly and told her that she ought to bring her own grocery bags next time, saying “plastic bags aren’t green and you are hurting the planet.” We didn’t have the green thing back in my earlier days,” the senior woman explained. The cashier looked at her angrily and replied, “I don’t care what you had or didn’t have! that’s our problem today! Your generation didn’t care enough to save our environment for future generations. You almost blew...

A man ordered a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes. One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired. The man agreed and said to the car: “Car! Go and bring my children from school.” The car went and didn’t return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong. Several hours later and with...

12-year-old Molly descended into a downward spiral when she discovered her parents were getting divorced. Her mother didn’t worry too much about Molly’s behavior until she went missing one day. Molly stared at her parents in shock. Tears blurred her vision of them sitting on opposite ends of the sofa, yet an inexplicable urge to laugh filled her chest. This had to be a joke, after all. Her parents couldn’t be getting divorced! “Your father will be moving out tomorrow while you’re at school,” Mom continued. “Where am I going to live?” Molly looked at Dad. His face was lined...