Top Stories

A little old Texas lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man, “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners, straight from California.” “Go away!” said the old lady, “I haven’t got any money to spend on things like that!” and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open....

A man goes into a bar in the airport and asks the bartender what the password is to their wi-fi. Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke. Bartender: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Bartender: $3 Me: There you go. So, what’s the wi-fi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

A pregnant mother of three needs to sell her stroller to feed her three children after she was abandoned by her husband. Anne Sargent sat on her kitchen floor and cried. It was past midnight, and it was the only time she could allow herself to show her pain — when her three children were asleep upstairs. Anne felt the baby move and placed a tender hand on her belly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to her unborn child. “I’m doing my best, but it’s just not good enough…” Just two months ago, Anne had been a radially happy wife and...

Don Rickles was always a hilarious, unpredictable interview guest. He visited ‘The Dick Cavett Show’ in 1972. Don sits, and they greet, and Dick says, “I’m sorry to hear you were ill. I heard you had a little laryngitis.” Don says, “Well, yes, I’m working in the Copacabana.” He talks about how the guys at the bar laugh at anything, and the cigar smoke gets to him every time. Dick says he’d never picture Don having laryngitis, and Don says, “I mean, I don’t really care what you pictured.” Don was known for his insult comedy, and he spared no...

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller: “I want to open a f*cking checking account.” The astonished woman replies: “I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank.” The woman leaves the window & goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that a woman does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window & the manager asks the old geezer: “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?” There is no f*ck1ng problem,” the...

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truc k. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could...

Linda often vented her frustrations on others. But the most affected person was her high school janitor, whose life she ruined in the most unthinkable way. Years later, Linda was hired to care for a wealthy old lady, but she was stunned when she met the woman. With nothing more than a backpack and an old phone, Linda, 24, marched across Jacksonville. Her destination was unclear, but she was sure she wouldn’t return home to her parents again. “If they call you, tell them I’m gone for good,” she informed her best friend Casey before switching off her mobile. Growing...

Harvey Korman and Carol Burnett have always entertained their audience with perfect comic timing and fantastic chemistry. Recently, a video clip has gained popularity as the talented duo managed to keep the audience laughing throughout the entire sketch. The skit starts with the couple coming home after celebrating their anniversary. However, they had a fight while returning home. How they express their anger and frustration through their actions is hilarious and relatable. From the moment Carol slams the door to Harvey’s exaggerated facial expressions, every move they make is perfectly timed for maximum laughs. Even their use of props, such...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, It’s my first time.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales rep: He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: He said everything checked out...

John was told that a twin-engine plane would be waiting at the airport. Arriving at the airport he spotted a plane warming up outside the hanger. He jumped in, said let’s go. The pilot taxied and took off. Once in the air, John told the pilot: Fly low over the valley so I can take pictures of the fire on the hill. Pilot: Why? John: Because I’m the photographer for a television show. I need to get some close-up shots. The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, then he stammered So, what You’re telling me is.. “You’re not my...